Senryu : sleeping like a clam

clammed up in my quilt
alarm tears me from my shell
autumn dreams depart

senryu by M. Nakazato LaFreniere

Chèvrefeuille challenged us to revise a classical haiku by Basho on the Ise Shima Wedding Rocks.

hamaguri no
futami ni wakare
yuku aki zo
a clam
torn from its shell
departing autumn
Ise Futamigaura , 1858, by Utagawa Hiroshige aka Ando Hiroshige (1797-1858). Ando Hiroshige is famous for The Fifty-three Stations of the Tōkaidō

As I could not revise it — it is hard to revise haiku as it’s boiled down to it’s essence as it is — I went on a slightly different road, pulling words from the original as prompts: clam, tear, shell, autumn, depart.

Using these words, I created a senryu.  I was remembering when living in Japan, I had decided to take a sunrise photo of a different set of Wedding Rocks between Oita and Miyazaki. The alarm had rang before dawn of course.  Leaving my warm futon, shivering in the pre-dawn cold, I got dressed and went on my way.  I ended up making a New Year’s card with it.

I wrote a longer post about the Kamiura Rocks on Senryu: dawn.


February 21st 2018, Revise It
Heeding Haiku With Chèvrefeuille
Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie


List of texts: #125
Author #1. Matsuo Bashô (松尾芭蕉)
Era: Yamato
Classical Japanese Database

Second life photo by M. LaFreniere, avatar Kayla Woodrunner
Kamiura Rocks photo by M. LaFreniere

North Blue by Mellow Design Lab
leaf and twig by Mellow Design Lab

©2018 M. Nakazato LaFreniere, all rights reserved