Troiku : bare branches

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Carpe Diem Haiku Kai challenges us to a troiku.  A troiku takes each line of a haiku as the first line in a new haiku so that you have three poems.

The original translated haiku by Yozakura, the Wandering Spirit (an ongoing story of a Basho apprentice)

bare branches
a painting against the blue sky
leaves under my feet

These are my three responses
Note: because of the 5-7-5, for the second line, I will be using it as the second line in the second poem, not the first.  Also because the first line is only 3 syllables, I’ll use the 3-5-3 form.  The other two are in 5-7-5 form.

bare branches
reaching for the sun
fall yearnings

clouds awash in dusk
painting against the blue sky
people rushing home

leaves under my feet
crunching with each dancing skip
bright swirls of color

 

 

References:

#31 Troiku … “bare branches”
Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation
Carpe Diem Haiku Kai

10 thoughts on “Troiku : bare branches”

    1. thank you! it’s fun playing with different poetry forms, although I generally stick with the offshoots of Japanese forms

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    1. Yeah, me too. I’d like spring to last a little longer though. It’s already getting hot here. We’re expecting a high of 99F today

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    1. I didn’t realize that oak leaves would still be on the ground. That’s one thing I miss about being in Arizona. Oakland had a greater variety of trees and plants and was a lot greener. i miss the bright and rich greens of spring and summer and the changing of autumn.

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