Senryu : dreaming


dreaming of a poem
struggling for that perfect phrase
reaching — nooo! — it’s gone

senryu by M. Nakazato LaFreniere


Entering a poem is to enter a dreamscape.  Random unrelated bits float, connecting, making sense as they coalesce into a vision. The poet struggles in a storm of letters, reaching for that perfect phrase, drowning in words.

I write senryu generally, haiku on occasion. The haiku/senryu form is a lifeline, paring syllables down to a minimum, with only three phrases.  No more, no less.  If you do more, it’s tanka or something else, a sonnet maybe.  Haiku/senryu has its rules which I disobey regularly but they are the north star — there behind clouds or shining bright when you need a compass.

Do your words provoke/convoke an idea/emotion/memory in your reader? A poem kept to yourself, hidden in a drawer, changes once it is let free to embrace other readers.  Meanings suddenly change in between the lines.

Three lines, that’s all.  You get it right or you don’t.

Wake up.


March 14th 2018 … A Love poem
Heeding Haiku With Chèvrefeuille
Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie

Chèvrefeuille challenged us to write a haiku or haibun inspired by Rumi’s quartrain :

Although you may consume sweet desserts, roast meat, and pure wine.
Know that (if) you consume water in a dream,
When you get up from the dream you will [still] be thirsty.
For the water you consume in a dream causes you no benefit.
(c) Rumi (taken from “The Ruba’iyat” of Rumi, quartrain 1786)

daily prompts, daily post

Second life photo by M. LaFreniere, avatar Kayla Woodrunner

Font: Little Seahorse by Mellow Design Lab

©2018 M. LaFreniere, all rights reserved


11 thoughts on “Senryu : dreaming”

  1. First, you did a great job using Rumi’s idea and your best line to me is simply “wake up!” Second, I enjoy poetry because of its very nature to be meaningless and meaningful to any reader at any given time.


    1. Yay! your comment made it! I wonder what was up with wp….OMG! I wonder how many other people couldn’t comment…. starts wondering what people would have said. Is this like the blogger’s giant fish they almost caught?


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